As a site owner in the relationship business, I get lots and plenty of messages from people who really want to patch things up using their exes. I know, I promote a product that's built to do exactly that, however for many individuals getting back together isn't the best idea.  

It's natural to desire to work things out with your ex specially when the split is fresh. I have been there myself repeatedly! I think the reason we attempt to stop the split is because we are afraid of change, even though we are in a bad relationship. So, before you make any try to make your ex take you back, sit down and examine why you want it to happen. Here are some thoughts to get your mind working:  

Is it an enmeshed relationship?   It is a term that counselors use to describe social relationships in what type person depends entirely on the other. You do everything together and if you can not operate without your mate, then you definitely are most likely in an enmeshed relationship. They are not healthy for you personally in the long run.  

These kinds of relationships really are a bit different from the buddy-buddy items that happens when you are near to someone. Think serious and you are on the right track. For example, if you literally don't have the courage, confidence or determination to visit a restaurant, movie or store without your ex, then it is an enmeshed relationship. You are completely determined by the other person to do some ordinary activity. Appear to be it is worth getting back together? No!  

Was there any kind of abuse in the relationship?   Abuse comes in many different forms, nevertheless they are typical awful. If it was physical, sexual, mental or else, any kind of abuse makes for a poor relationship and one that should only stop. You are better off single. The difficult part is dealing with people who were in abusive relationships and convincing them that it is not their fault and their ex won't change. In these cases, I advise people get some professional help.  

Are you currently under 20 or is this certainly one of your first breakups?   I get PLENTY of messages and weblog comments from middle, high school and university students. I don't learn how to say this politely: 90% of the time, they are angry and worrying about something that has no long term consequences because of their lives. In many cases, I would bet money that their ex was not their 'soulmate' and they will find someone else.  

The problem a large amount of these young readers have is that they are entirely overcome with these thoughts that they have never had to cope with before and they don't understand what to do. I think the solution for nearly all of them is to really undergo and read my article.  

There are a few other occasions when I think relationships aren't worth saving, like when somebody was cheating or when you can find serious trust dilemmas. Maybe I'll get into those in a later post, but I think most people who contact me for help belong to one of these simple catagories.